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When you need your chapter summarized in the best kind of letters--ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!--look no further than this week's
UNRESOLVED CAPSLOCKUAL TENSION
WORKING TITLE: I'VE SEEN THIS ONE, I'M GOING TO THE STORE. DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?
GAMAKICHI: CAN I GO HOME NOW?
NARUTO: YAY! WE TOTALLY BEAT HIM! THAT'S THE LAST WE'LL BE SEEING OF OBITO! WE WON! HE SURELY WON'T BE COMING BACK TO BOTHER US EVER AGAIN! BECAUSE HE'S GONE FOR GOOD!
SASUKE: I'M CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC.
TOBIRAMA: I SHOULD BE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT COUNTING YOUR CHICKENS, BUT FOR SOME REASON I'M NOT. *SHRUG*
OBITO: OH, JUST TURN THE PAGE AND STOP WASTING EVERYBODY'S TIME. *FLOWER CHILD NO JUTSU*
MINATO AND TOBIRAMA AND NARUTO AND SASUKE: *ARE ALL EXPERIENCING EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF PUNCTUATION-SHARING SURPRISE* *AS WOULD WE ALL, UPON BEING CONFRONTED WITH AN ENORMOUS BLOOD-THIRSTY GARDENIA*
NARUTO: QUIT HOGGING THE EXCLAMATION POINT, SASUKE! I'M JUST AS HORRIFIED BY THIS DEVELOPMENT AS YOU ARE!
SASUKE: FINDERS KEEPERS.
TOBIRAMA: ... BEFORE THEY'RE HATCHED. THERE, DID I MAKE IT IN TIME TO LOOK MORE SKEPTICAL THAN THE REST OF YOU? BECAUSE I TOTALLY WAS.
OBITO: IT'S TRUE, I AM COMPLETELY UNHARMED. AND A LITTLE INSULTED, IF I'M GOING TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.
SASUKE: WHAT A GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS.
NARUTO: BUT HE'S SO DAMN SEXY!
MINATO: WITH A CLOAK LIKE THAT, HE'LL NEVER HAVE TO BUY HIS OWN DRINKS. HE'S GOT PETALS. PETALS!
TOBIRAMA: UH, MINATO? YOU MAYBE WANT SOME BACTINE OR SOMETHING? FOR, UM... YOU KNOW...
MINATO: HUH? WHAT ARE YOU-- YIKES! WHY AM I NOT GETTING A NEW CONFETTI ARM??
OBITO: YEAH, SO, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M REALLY, REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL NOW.
TOBIRAMA: I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, MINATO. FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO SWIM IN A CIRCLE.
MINATO: DO YOU THINK I WOULD LOOK COOL WITH A HOOK? OR IS THAT TOO PIRATEY?
NARUTO: SASUKE, WILL YOU BE ALL RIGHT? YOU LOOK A LITTLE PEAKY.
SASUKE: UCHIHA ALWAYS LOOK A LITTLE PEAKY. IT'S THE 150 SPF. I'M FINE.
NARUTO: OKAY THEN, LET'S GO! WATCH THIS! I HAVE THIS COOL THING THAT I DO! IT WILL REALLY KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF! SEE, WHAT I DO IS-- *FIZZLE*
SASUKE: *POLITE, EGO-SPARING SILENCE*
NARUTO: THANK YOU FOR NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
TOBIRAMA: DON'T WORRY, KID, IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE NOW AND THEN.
NARUTO: EVEN YOU?
TOBIRAMA: NO. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND PRETEND I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU.
MINATO: EVEN ME?
TOBIRAMA: ESPECIALLY YOU.
MINATO: WOAH, HARSH. YOU'RE A PLAIN-SPEAKING MAN. I LIKE THAT!
TOBIRAMA: SHUT UP.
NARUTO: TIME FOR SOME MOOCHIN'! KURAMA, CAN I HAVE SOME CHAKRA?
KURAMA: WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, AN ATM? GET A JOB!
GAMAKICHI: THIS NICOTINE GUM TASTES LIKE CRAP. *SPLORP*
TOBIRAMA: EW.
OBITO: WHAT THE-- OH, YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET THESE THINGS?? THEY WERE THE LAST PAIR!!
GAMAKICHI: UH-OH! TIME TO MAKE MYSELF SCARCE. SEE YA, NARUTO! *PWOOOF*
NARUTO: UH, THANKS?
OBITO: THESE ARE SUEDE, YOU SONSABITCHES!! IF MY DRY CLEANER CAN'T GET THIS SHIT OUT, I'M SENDING YOU THE BILL!! FUCKIN' NASTY KERMIT GOO ALL UP IN MY MAGIC! THIS IS BULLSHIT!
NARUTO: WOAH CALM DOWN! JUST PUT SOME PEANUT BUTTER ON IT!
TOBIRAMA: NO, FREEZE IT AND THEN GIVE IT A WHACK WITH A HAMMER. OH, BY THE WAY, YOU GUYS? IT LOOKS LIKE SAGE STUFF CAN GET HIM, SO JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND.
NARUTO: STOP GIVING THINGS AWAY! THE AUDIENCE IS SUPPOSED TO COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BY WATCHING ME FIGURE IT OUT USING THE POWER OF "..."!
TOBIRAMA: WHATEVER.
MINATO: OBITO, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NAUGHTY? ARE YOU GOING THROUGH A PHASE?
OBITO: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA? WOW, I HATE YOU EVEN MORE, NOW.
MINATO: HMM... MAYBE IF I HAVE A FLASHBACK I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
NARUTO: YEAH, DAD! BUY ME SOME TIME SO OBITO WON'T NOTICE WHAT I'M TOTALLY OBVIOUSLY DOING!
MINATO: WAIT... I THINK I GET IT, NOW... IS THIS ABOUT THAT ONE TIME WHEN EVERYBODY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, BUT YOU REALLY WEREN'T, THOUGH YOU WERE SQUISHED, AND THEN RIN WAS MADE INTO A JINCHUURIKI TIME BOMB, AND SHE DIED GRUESOMELY TO PROTECT THE VILLAGE YOU INSTANTLY BECAME DISILLUSIONED WITH, WHILE I WAS GOD KNOWS WHERE, AND LATER WHEN I SAW YOU AGAIN I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS YOUR BELOVED SENSEI AND YOU WERE MY FAVORITE STUDENT?
OBITO: FUCKING FINALLY.
MINATO: WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I BEAT MYSELF UP OVER IT?
OBITO: A LITTLE.
MINATO: I AM CONSUMED WITH REGRET AND SORROW AT MY OWN FAILINGS AND YOUR WASTED POTENTIAL. HOW WAS THAT?
OBITO: COULD BE BETTER. YOU WERE A LOUSY TEACHER AND A LOUSY HOKAGE AND I'M GLAD I GOT SQUISHED BECAUSE BEING HOKAGE SUCKS ASS AND THIS JUUBI SHIT IS WAY MORE FUN THAN BEING A STUPID SUCK-KAGE ANYWAY!! WOW... THAT WAS REALLY QUITE CATHARTIC. THANK YOU.
NARUTO: STOP MAKING MY DAD FEEL BAD!! AND BEING HOKAGE DOESN'T SUCK! YOU SUCK!
OBITO: YES IT DOES AND NO I DON'T.
NARUTO: NO IT DOESN'T AND YES YOU DO!
OBITO: YES AND NO.
NARUTO: NO AND YES!
OBITO: YES AND NO TIMES INFINITY.
TOBIRAMA: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOU TWO, HOW OLD ARE YOU?
SASUKE: AND HERE I WAS THINKING I MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOMETHING GOOD BY SHOWING UP LATE FOR THE WAR.
OBITO: YOU REALLY DIDN'T. WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR DAYS.
NARUTO: PREPARE TO LOOK SHOCKED, EVERYONE EXCEPT TOBIRAMA! HERE COMES MY BIG SAGE MODE SUPER SURPRISE!
OBITO: ACTUALLY, THAT'S PROBABLY ABOUT THE LEAST SURPRISING THING ANYBODY HAS EVER DONE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER.
SASUKE: HEY, I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED!
OBITO: WELL, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND MUCH LATELY, HAVE YOU? AND FUCK, DOES THIS SHIT STING! IS THAT BACTINE STILL FLOATING AROUND ANYWHERE, OR... ?
MINATO: SAGE MODE? BITCHIN'!
DARKURAMA: HEY, I'M HERE.
KISHIMOTO: LONG LOST TWINS! MELODRAMA! ONE-HANDED CARTWHEELS! SMACK TALKING! NICOTINE ADDICTION! REHAB! SEXY, SEXY CLOAKS! GUILTY ENABLING! FUNNIEST ANIMAL HOME VIDEOS! SULKING! PIRATES! AND MUCH MORE! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT THRILLING INSTALLMENT OF "AS THE NINJAVERSE TURNS", SPONSORED IN PART BY: TOES OF STEEL NINJA SANDAL EMPORIUM, ICHIRAKU RAMEN, AND EXXON MOBIL CORPORATION.
UNRESOLVED CAPSLOCKUAL TENSION
WORKING TITLE: I'VE SEEN THIS ONE, I'M GOING TO THE STORE. DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?
GAMAKICHI: CAN I GO HOME NOW?
NARUTO: YAY! WE TOTALLY BEAT HIM! THAT'S THE LAST WE'LL BE SEEING OF OBITO! WE WON! HE SURELY WON'T BE COMING BACK TO BOTHER US EVER AGAIN! BECAUSE HE'S GONE FOR GOOD!
SASUKE: I'M CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC.
TOBIRAMA: I SHOULD BE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT COUNTING YOUR CHICKENS, BUT FOR SOME REASON I'M NOT. *SHRUG*
OBITO: OH, JUST TURN THE PAGE AND STOP WASTING EVERYBODY'S TIME. *FLOWER CHILD NO JUTSU*
MINATO AND TOBIRAMA AND NARUTO AND SASUKE: *ARE ALL EXPERIENCING EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF PUNCTUATION-SHARING SURPRISE* *AS WOULD WE ALL, UPON BEING CONFRONTED WITH AN ENORMOUS BLOOD-THIRSTY GARDENIA*
NARUTO: QUIT HOGGING THE EXCLAMATION POINT, SASUKE! I'M JUST AS HORRIFIED BY THIS DEVELOPMENT AS YOU ARE!
SASUKE: FINDERS KEEPERS.
TOBIRAMA: ... BEFORE THEY'RE HATCHED. THERE, DID I MAKE IT IN TIME TO LOOK MORE SKEPTICAL THAN THE REST OF YOU? BECAUSE I TOTALLY WAS.
OBITO: IT'S TRUE, I AM COMPLETELY UNHARMED. AND A LITTLE INSULTED, IF I'M GOING TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.
SASUKE: WHAT A GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS.
NARUTO: BUT HE'S SO DAMN SEXY!
MINATO: WITH A CLOAK LIKE THAT, HE'LL NEVER HAVE TO BUY HIS OWN DRINKS. HE'S GOT PETALS. PETALS!
TOBIRAMA: UH, MINATO? YOU MAYBE WANT SOME BACTINE OR SOMETHING? FOR, UM... YOU KNOW...
MINATO: HUH? WHAT ARE YOU-- YIKES! WHY AM I NOT GETTING A NEW CONFETTI ARM??
OBITO: YEAH, SO, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M REALLY, REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL NOW.
TOBIRAMA: I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, MINATO. FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO SWIM IN A CIRCLE.
MINATO: DO YOU THINK I WOULD LOOK COOL WITH A HOOK? OR IS THAT TOO PIRATEY?
NARUTO: SASUKE, WILL YOU BE ALL RIGHT? YOU LOOK A LITTLE PEAKY.
SASUKE: UCHIHA ALWAYS LOOK A LITTLE PEAKY. IT'S THE 150 SPF. I'M FINE.
NARUTO: OKAY THEN, LET'S GO! WATCH THIS! I HAVE THIS COOL THING THAT I DO! IT WILL REALLY KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF! SEE, WHAT I DO IS-- *FIZZLE*
SASUKE: *POLITE, EGO-SPARING SILENCE*
NARUTO: THANK YOU FOR NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
TOBIRAMA: DON'T WORRY, KID, IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE NOW AND THEN.
NARUTO: EVEN YOU?
TOBIRAMA: NO. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND PRETEND I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU.
MINATO: EVEN ME?
TOBIRAMA: ESPECIALLY YOU.
MINATO: WOAH, HARSH. YOU'RE A PLAIN-SPEAKING MAN. I LIKE THAT!
TOBIRAMA: SHUT UP.
NARUTO: TIME FOR SOME MOOCHIN'! KURAMA, CAN I HAVE SOME CHAKRA?
KURAMA: WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, AN ATM? GET A JOB!
GAMAKICHI: THIS NICOTINE GUM TASTES LIKE CRAP. *SPLORP*
TOBIRAMA: EW.
OBITO: WHAT THE-- OH, YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET THESE THINGS?? THEY WERE THE LAST PAIR!!
GAMAKICHI: UH-OH! TIME TO MAKE MYSELF SCARCE. SEE YA, NARUTO! *PWOOOF*
NARUTO: UH, THANKS?
OBITO: THESE ARE SUEDE, YOU SONSABITCHES!! IF MY DRY CLEANER CAN'T GET THIS SHIT OUT, I'M SENDING YOU THE BILL!! FUCKIN' NASTY KERMIT GOO ALL UP IN MY MAGIC! THIS IS BULLSHIT!
NARUTO: WOAH CALM DOWN! JUST PUT SOME PEANUT BUTTER ON IT!
TOBIRAMA: NO, FREEZE IT AND THEN GIVE IT A WHACK WITH A HAMMER. OH, BY THE WAY, YOU GUYS? IT LOOKS LIKE SAGE STUFF CAN GET HIM, SO JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND.
NARUTO: STOP GIVING THINGS AWAY! THE AUDIENCE IS SUPPOSED TO COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BY WATCHING ME FIGURE IT OUT USING THE POWER OF "..."!
TOBIRAMA: WHATEVER.
MINATO: OBITO, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NAUGHTY? ARE YOU GOING THROUGH A PHASE?
OBITO: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA? WOW, I HATE YOU EVEN MORE, NOW.
MINATO: HMM... MAYBE IF I HAVE A FLASHBACK I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
NARUTO: YEAH, DAD! BUY ME SOME TIME SO OBITO WON'T NOTICE WHAT I'M TOTALLY OBVIOUSLY DOING!
MINATO: WAIT... I THINK I GET IT, NOW... IS THIS ABOUT THAT ONE TIME WHEN EVERYBODY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, BUT YOU REALLY WEREN'T, THOUGH YOU WERE SQUISHED, AND THEN RIN WAS MADE INTO A JINCHUURIKI TIME BOMB, AND SHE DIED GRUESOMELY TO PROTECT THE VILLAGE YOU INSTANTLY BECAME DISILLUSIONED WITH, WHILE I WAS GOD KNOWS WHERE, AND LATER WHEN I SAW YOU AGAIN I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS YOUR BELOVED SENSEI AND YOU WERE MY FAVORITE STUDENT?
OBITO: FUCKING FINALLY.
MINATO: WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I BEAT MYSELF UP OVER IT?
OBITO: A LITTLE.
MINATO: I AM CONSUMED WITH REGRET AND SORROW AT MY OWN FAILINGS AND YOUR WASTED POTENTIAL. HOW WAS THAT?
OBITO: COULD BE BETTER. YOU WERE A LOUSY TEACHER AND A LOUSY HOKAGE AND I'M GLAD I GOT SQUISHED BECAUSE BEING HOKAGE SUCKS ASS AND THIS JUUBI SHIT IS WAY MORE FUN THAN BEING A STUPID SUCK-KAGE ANYWAY!! WOW... THAT WAS REALLY QUITE CATHARTIC. THANK YOU.
NARUTO: STOP MAKING MY DAD FEEL BAD!! AND BEING HOKAGE DOESN'T SUCK! YOU SUCK!
OBITO: YES IT DOES AND NO I DON'T.
NARUTO: NO IT DOESN'T AND YES YOU DO!
OBITO: YES AND NO.
NARUTO: NO AND YES!
OBITO: YES AND NO TIMES INFINITY.
TOBIRAMA: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOU TWO, HOW OLD ARE YOU?
SASUKE: AND HERE I WAS THINKING I MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOMETHING GOOD BY SHOWING UP LATE FOR THE WAR.
OBITO: YOU REALLY DIDN'T. WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR DAYS.
NARUTO: PREPARE TO LOOK SHOCKED, EVERYONE EXCEPT TOBIRAMA! HERE COMES MY BIG SAGE MODE SUPER SURPRISE!
OBITO: ACTUALLY, THAT'S PROBABLY ABOUT THE LEAST SURPRISING THING ANYBODY HAS EVER DONE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER.
SASUKE: HEY, I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED!
OBITO: WELL, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND MUCH LATELY, HAVE YOU? AND FUCK, DOES THIS SHIT STING! IS THAT BACTINE STILL FLOATING AROUND ANYWHERE, OR... ?
MINATO: SAGE MODE? BITCHIN'!
DARKURAMA: HEY, I'M HERE.
KISHIMOTO: LONG LOST TWINS! MELODRAMA! ONE-HANDED CARTWHEELS! SMACK TALKING! NICOTINE ADDICTION! REHAB! SEXY, SEXY CLOAKS! GUILTY ENABLING! FUNNIEST ANIMAL HOME VIDEOS! SULKING! PIRATES! AND MUCH MORE! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT THRILLING INSTALLMENT OF "AS THE NINJAVERSE TURNS", SPONSORED IN PART BY: TOES OF STEEL NINJA SANDAL EMPORIUM, ICHIRAKU RAMEN, AND EXXON MOBIL CORPORATION.
Chapter 643
YIN KURAMA: LOOK HERE, MINATO, YOUR SPAWN CAN TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN SELF. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, AIN'T NONE OF THIS SHIT YOUR FAULT. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
MINATO: AWW, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?
YIN KURAMA: ID-IDIOT! AS IF I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU! I- I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE GETTING MY PAWS DIRTY AT THE MOMENT, IS ALL.
MINATO: SO ADORABLE.
NARUTO: WHEEEE!
TOBIRAMA: SIGH.
OBITO: DAMMIT, THIS HAD BETTER NOT LEAVE A SCAR. IF I CAN'T LIE OUT THIS SUMMER BECAUSE OF YOU ASSHOLES, I AM GOING TO BE SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY VITAMIN E OIL?
NARUTO: SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM! OR AT LEAST RUIN HIS COMPLEXION!
SASUKE: SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM, EH?
TOBIRAMA: YES! JUST AS I TOLD YOU LAST CHAPTER! SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM! GOD, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO HECKLE AND JECKLE OVER HERE.
NARUTO: NATURAL ENERGY WILL WORK ON THE JUUBI, SINCE IT IS A NATURAL ENERGY MONSTER.
SASUKE: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS, NATURAL ENERGY NATURALLY PROTECTS AGAINST NATURAL ENERGY, NATURALLY?
TOBIRAMA: DEAR LORD IT'S LIKE THEY'RE IN THEIR OWN LITTLE WORLD.
NARUTO: YOU BET, SASUKE! SAGE MODE IS TOTALLY BITCHIN'! WATCH THIS, IMMA GET MY FROG ON! IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME!
SASUKE: HMM, GOOD THING I'M PART JUUGO NOW. NOT THAT ANYONE IS GOING TO REMEMBER THAT.
TOBIRAMA: *READS SCRIPT* ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO WAY IN HELL AM I SAYING THAT.
KISHIMOTO: *MENACES WITH ERASER*
TOBIRAMA: UGH, FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THAT WAY ABOUT IT. SIGH. NARUTO IS SO TALENTED AND AMAZING! HE EVEN HAS SAGE MODE! TRULY IT IS LIKE FIGHTING BESIDE MY AWESOME BIG BROTHER. THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? *GAGS*
KISHIMOTO: GOOD BOY.
SASUKE: HEH, LOOKS LIKE NARUTO'S DOING PRETTY WELL. I- I MEAN! MAYBE SOMEDAY HE'LL AMOUNT TO SOMETHING, MAYBE! *LOOKS AROUND TO MAKE SURE NO ONE HEARD*
OBITO: FUCK IT, IN MY CRAZY MOON WORLD, I WON'T EVEN NEED VITAMIN E OIL. OR BAND AIDS. OR SUNSCREEN. TIME TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. ONCE YOU IDIOTS SMELL THIS FLOWER, YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME FOR TSUKI NO ME.
CORPSE FLOWER: *UNFURLS ITS ODIFEROUS PETALS*
FODDER NINJA #2346543: OH, HONESTLY, HOW MUCH MORE FUCKED ARE WE GOING TO GET? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT. IT JUST FIGURES, JOIN THE RESERVES AND FIVE MINUTES LATER A WAR BREAKS OUT.
AKATSUCHI: IT'S HOPELESS! THERE'S NOT ENOUGH WEED KILLER IN THE WORLD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING! ITS TAP ROOT MUST GO DOWN FOR MILES!
SHIKAMARU: COME ON, BRAIN, LET'S DO OUR THING. THINK OF SOMETHING SHOUGI RELATED TO IMPRESS THE AUDIENCE. SHOUGI WILL SAVE THE WORLD, DAMMIT!
NARUTO: THAT FLOWER IS HUGE! IF ONLY SAKURA AND INO COULD GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO USE THE KUNOICHI ART OF FLOWER ARRANGING THE GIRLS LEARNED IN SCHOOL INSTEAD OF ACTUAL COMBAT SKILLS!
SASUKE: I DON'T THINK IKEBANA CAN BE OF MUCH HELP RIGHT NOW, NARUTO.
TOBIRAMA: OH LORD IT'S HIDEOUS! THE STENCH IS ENOUGH TO MELT MY FACEPLATE!
MINATO: I'VE NEVER SEEN A FLOWER WITH SO MUCH MUCUS BEFORE.
OBITO: THIS REVOLTING FLOWER IS NOWHERE NEAR AS STOMACH-TURNING AS YOUR WORTHLESS WORLD! GAZE UPON ITS STINKING PETALS AND DESPAIR!
TOBIRAMA: EW, YUCK. WE ARE ROYALLY BONED. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY BIG BROTHER?? HASHIRAMA? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??
HASHIRAMA: MADARA? YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU LOOK A BIT... FLUSHED.
MADARA: I'M FINE! NEVER BEEN BETTER! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!
HASHIRAMA: UM... SO YOUR LITTLE SIDEKICK OVER THERE IS ABOUT TO RAISE A BIG RUCKUS AND--
MADARA: FUCK HIM! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU AND I CAN NOW BREAK UP AND MAKE UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY! COME FOR ME, HASHIRAMAAAAAA!!!
HASHIRAMA: OH MY GOODNESS...
WOOD DRAGON: *SRS FACE*
SUSANOO: *COME-HITHER GAZE*
OTHER HASHIRAMA: STIFF UPPER LIPS, PEOPLE! WE CAN DO THIS!
OBITO: NO YOU CAN'T! *JELLO CUBE NO JUTSU*
FODDER NINJA #2346544: HE'S RIGHT! WE CAN'T! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED I SAY!
HASHIRAMA: OBITO, DON'T DO THAT, IF YOU MAKE A BARRIER THEN WE CAN'T GET RID OF THE BOMB, SILLY.
OBITO: I AM SO SICK OF LOOKING AT ALL OF YOU PEASANTS, I CAN'T EVEN... I JUST WANT TO GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH. I'M SURE THE AUDIENCE UNDERSTANDS THE FEELING, AMIRITE?
MINATO: WE'LL HAVE TO TELEPORT THAT GROSS FLOWER!
TOBIRAMA: YOU DO IT. I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT THING.
OBITO: DON'T BOTHER TRYING. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE THIS TIME IF YOU DON'T LET ME DO MY THANG.
NARUTO: HEY DAD! BROFIST ME!
MINATO: CAN YOU PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY, SON? AND WHY?
NARUTO: TRUST ME, IT'S FUN!
BEE: DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THAT WAS ACTUALLY MY THING? DOES ANYONE REMEMBER ME AT ALL? SIGH.
GYUUKI: *PATS COMFORTINGLY*
YANG KURAMA: HEY THERE, ME! LOOKIN' MY-T-FINE!
YIN KURAMA: !!
YANG KURAMA: YOU BEEN MISSIN' BEIN' PART OF ME? BEIN' ALL UP CLOSE TO YOUR FUZZY SELF?
YIN KURAMA: WHY YOU- ! ST- STUPID! AS IF I WOULD! I BARELY EVEN REMEMBER YOU! AND YOU WERE PART OF ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! *BLUUUUSH*
YANG KURAMA: NOW THERE'S THE FEISTY ME I KNOW. CAN YOU FRONT ME A LI'L CHAKRA? YOU KNOW, JUST FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE?
YIN KURAMA: FINE, BUT I'M GOING TO CHARGE OUTRAGEOUS INTEREST.
YANG KURAMA: OH HO? SOUNDS KINDA NAUGHTY! I COULD GET USED TO ME!
YIN KURAMA: HMPH! *TOSSES HEAD*
OBITO: ... AND THE EIGHTY-NINTH REASON YOUR FATHER SUCKS IS THAT HE COULDN'T SAVE YOUR MOTHER, AND THE NINTIETH REASON YOUR FATHER SUCKS IS--
NARUTO: IF YOU BRING UP RIN AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD...
OBITO: ... HE LET RIN DIE!
NARUTO: OH THAT'S IT! YOU ARE SO NOT COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! YEAH I SAID IT! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY UNINVITED!
MINATO: *WHISPERS* I'M SORRY, SON, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO GET YOU ANYTHING.
NARUTO: THAT'S OKAY, DAD. INSTEAD OF GETTING PRESENTS, I'M GOING TO GIVE ONE! A BIG ONE! GUESS WHAT IT IS!!
MINATO: UM... YOU'RE GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?
NARUTO: SURE AM!
MINATO: WOW, KUSHINA, OUR LITTLE SPROG HAS CERTAINLY GROWN UP! HE DIDN'T EVEN THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM OVER NOT GETTING A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
YANG KURAMA: COME ON ME, LET'S GO! FIST BUMP!
YIN KURAMA: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU OR ANYTHING. I WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH AND WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON, THAT'S ALL.
MINATO: AWW, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?
YIN KURAMA: ID-IDIOT! AS IF I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU! I- I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE GETTING MY PAWS DIRTY AT THE MOMENT, IS ALL.
MINATO: SO ADORABLE.
NARUTO: WHEEEE!
TOBIRAMA: SIGH.
OBITO: DAMMIT, THIS HAD BETTER NOT LEAVE A SCAR. IF I CAN'T LIE OUT THIS SUMMER BECAUSE OF YOU ASSHOLES, I AM GOING TO BE SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY VITAMIN E OIL?
NARUTO: SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM! OR AT LEAST RUIN HIS COMPLEXION!
SASUKE: SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM, EH?
TOBIRAMA: YES! JUST AS I TOLD YOU LAST CHAPTER! SAGE TECHNIQUES CAN AFFECT HIM! GOD, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO HECKLE AND JECKLE OVER HERE.
NARUTO: NATURAL ENERGY WILL WORK ON THE JUUBI, SINCE IT IS A NATURAL ENERGY MONSTER.
SASUKE: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS, NATURAL ENERGY NATURALLY PROTECTS AGAINST NATURAL ENERGY, NATURALLY?
TOBIRAMA: DEAR LORD IT'S LIKE THEY'RE IN THEIR OWN LITTLE WORLD.
NARUTO: YOU BET, SASUKE! SAGE MODE IS TOTALLY BITCHIN'! WATCH THIS, IMMA GET MY FROG ON! IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME!
SASUKE: HMM, GOOD THING I'M PART JUUGO NOW. NOT THAT ANYONE IS GOING TO REMEMBER THAT.
TOBIRAMA: *READS SCRIPT* ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO WAY IN HELL AM I SAYING THAT.
KISHIMOTO: *MENACES WITH ERASER*
TOBIRAMA: UGH, FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THAT WAY ABOUT IT. SIGH. NARUTO IS SO TALENTED AND AMAZING! HE EVEN HAS SAGE MODE! TRULY IT IS LIKE FIGHTING BESIDE MY AWESOME BIG BROTHER. THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? *GAGS*
KISHIMOTO: GOOD BOY.
SASUKE: HEH, LOOKS LIKE NARUTO'S DOING PRETTY WELL. I- I MEAN! MAYBE SOMEDAY HE'LL AMOUNT TO SOMETHING, MAYBE! *LOOKS AROUND TO MAKE SURE NO ONE HEARD*
OBITO: FUCK IT, IN MY CRAZY MOON WORLD, I WON'T EVEN NEED VITAMIN E OIL. OR BAND AIDS. OR SUNSCREEN. TIME TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. ONCE YOU IDIOTS SMELL THIS FLOWER, YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME FOR TSUKI NO ME.
CORPSE FLOWER: *UNFURLS ITS ODIFEROUS PETALS*
FODDER NINJA #2346543: OH, HONESTLY, HOW MUCH MORE FUCKED ARE WE GOING TO GET? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT. IT JUST FIGURES, JOIN THE RESERVES AND FIVE MINUTES LATER A WAR BREAKS OUT.
AKATSUCHI: IT'S HOPELESS! THERE'S NOT ENOUGH WEED KILLER IN THE WORLD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING! ITS TAP ROOT MUST GO DOWN FOR MILES!
SHIKAMARU: COME ON, BRAIN, LET'S DO OUR THING. THINK OF SOMETHING SHOUGI RELATED TO IMPRESS THE AUDIENCE. SHOUGI WILL SAVE THE WORLD, DAMMIT!
NARUTO: THAT FLOWER IS HUGE! IF ONLY SAKURA AND INO COULD GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO USE THE KUNOICHI ART OF FLOWER ARRANGING THE GIRLS LEARNED IN SCHOOL INSTEAD OF ACTUAL COMBAT SKILLS!
SASUKE: I DON'T THINK IKEBANA CAN BE OF MUCH HELP RIGHT NOW, NARUTO.
TOBIRAMA: OH LORD IT'S HIDEOUS! THE STENCH IS ENOUGH TO MELT MY FACEPLATE!
MINATO: I'VE NEVER SEEN A FLOWER WITH SO MUCH MUCUS BEFORE.
OBITO: THIS REVOLTING FLOWER IS NOWHERE NEAR AS STOMACH-TURNING AS YOUR WORTHLESS WORLD! GAZE UPON ITS STINKING PETALS AND DESPAIR!
TOBIRAMA: EW, YUCK. WE ARE ROYALLY BONED. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY BIG BROTHER?? HASHIRAMA? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??
HASHIRAMA: MADARA? YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU LOOK A BIT... FLUSHED.
MADARA: I'M FINE! NEVER BEEN BETTER! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!
HASHIRAMA: UM... SO YOUR LITTLE SIDEKICK OVER THERE IS ABOUT TO RAISE A BIG RUCKUS AND--
MADARA: FUCK HIM! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU AND I CAN NOW BREAK UP AND MAKE UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY! COME FOR ME, HASHIRAMAAAAAA!!!
HASHIRAMA: OH MY GOODNESS...
WOOD DRAGON: *SRS FACE*
SUSANOO: *COME-HITHER GAZE*
OTHER HASHIRAMA: STIFF UPPER LIPS, PEOPLE! WE CAN DO THIS!
OBITO: NO YOU CAN'T! *JELLO CUBE NO JUTSU*
FODDER NINJA #2346544: HE'S RIGHT! WE CAN'T! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED I SAY!
HASHIRAMA: OBITO, DON'T DO THAT, IF YOU MAKE A BARRIER THEN WE CAN'T GET RID OF THE BOMB, SILLY.
OBITO: I AM SO SICK OF LOOKING AT ALL OF YOU PEASANTS, I CAN'T EVEN... I JUST WANT TO GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH. I'M SURE THE AUDIENCE UNDERSTANDS THE FEELING, AMIRITE?
MINATO: WE'LL HAVE TO TELEPORT THAT GROSS FLOWER!
TOBIRAMA: YOU DO IT. I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT THING.
OBITO: DON'T BOTHER TRYING. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE THIS TIME IF YOU DON'T LET ME DO MY THANG.
NARUTO: HEY DAD! BROFIST ME!
MINATO: CAN YOU PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY, SON? AND WHY?
NARUTO: TRUST ME, IT'S FUN!
BEE: DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THAT WAS ACTUALLY MY THING? DOES ANYONE REMEMBER ME AT ALL? SIGH.
GYUUKI: *PATS COMFORTINGLY*
YANG KURAMA: HEY THERE, ME! LOOKIN' MY-T-FINE!
YIN KURAMA: !!
YANG KURAMA: YOU BEEN MISSIN' BEIN' PART OF ME? BEIN' ALL UP CLOSE TO YOUR FUZZY SELF?
YIN KURAMA: WHY YOU- ! ST- STUPID! AS IF I WOULD! I BARELY EVEN REMEMBER YOU! AND YOU WERE PART OF ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! *BLUUUUSH*
YANG KURAMA: NOW THERE'S THE FEISTY ME I KNOW. CAN YOU FRONT ME A LI'L CHAKRA? YOU KNOW, JUST FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE?
YIN KURAMA: FINE, BUT I'M GOING TO CHARGE OUTRAGEOUS INTEREST.
YANG KURAMA: OH HO? SOUNDS KINDA NAUGHTY! I COULD GET USED TO ME!
YIN KURAMA: HMPH! *TOSSES HEAD*
OBITO: ... AND THE EIGHTY-NINTH REASON YOUR FATHER SUCKS IS THAT HE COULDN'T SAVE YOUR MOTHER, AND THE NINTIETH REASON YOUR FATHER SUCKS IS--
NARUTO: IF YOU BRING UP RIN AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD...
OBITO: ... HE LET RIN DIE!
NARUTO: OH THAT'S IT! YOU ARE SO NOT COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! YEAH I SAID IT! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY UNINVITED!
MINATO: *WHISPERS* I'M SORRY, SON, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO GET YOU ANYTHING.
NARUTO: THAT'S OKAY, DAD. INSTEAD OF GETTING PRESENTS, I'M GOING TO GIVE ONE! A BIG ONE! GUESS WHAT IT IS!!
MINATO: UM... YOU'RE GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?
NARUTO: SURE AM!
MINATO: WOW, KUSHINA, OUR LITTLE SPROG HAS CERTAINLY GROWN UP! HE DIDN'T EVEN THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM OVER NOT GETTING A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
YANG KURAMA: COME ON ME, LET'S GO! FIST BUMP!
YIN KURAMA: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU OR ANYTHING. I WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH AND WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON, THAT'S ALL.
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