Could you guys take a look at this script for me?

[NeoShweaty]

Normally, i might ask one of my other translators but this requires a serious amount of kanji knowledge (or i would think) and my checker is in germany with more important things to worry about (i.e. his fiancee) and he does a good job so this wont be a regular occurance.
here is the raw:http://www.d-amar.com/koscans/[KO-SCANS]Tough_chapter_25.rar
I should say that english isnt the guys first language so i have had problems with some of the translations in the past but couldnt do anything about it really seeing as my kanji, and japanese knowledge, is rather limited. (he is japanese himself tho)

(its not that long at all and the characters on the left is just the beginning of the sentences for typesetting purposes)
覇　Haguu school, Wind strike!

虎　#25 a tiger's son
ほう　whoo...you didn't turn up though be hit by "wind strike"

た　it sure has the power to break ordinary men's stomachs up
肉　I heard a wierd sound from my abdominal muscles
け　however Nodashinkage school can use the "air shield" to reduce the shock!

気　the "air shield"? Nadashinkage has it also?
腐　you are still a son of "tiger"
お前　what's your real parpose?
刺　there is no evil atmosphere around you though you are an assasin.
もう　I came to meet the "tiger" again

静か "the quaet tiger"
3　three years ago-
今　I ask you again.
どう　do I need to fight you anyway?

悪　we cant admit Nadashinkage school is our Haguu's akin. it had produced
the evil Kiruu.
鬼　the excommunication of Kiruu don't finish our breaking off.
そ　if you want to armistice with us, you must fight with me.

いざ　Now..I go!

ぐ　ughh!
は　Oh!

参り　You won!
なに　what?
白　your punch broke my rib!
この　If I fight more, It can stick my lung!

うむ　mm..it could be no way.
今日　today's fight is draw.
あり　I appreciate you.
だが　but I saw clearly..
あの　at that moment,

静　the "queit tiger" catched the fist of white fox..
己　and let it to hit on his ribs hard as it breaks them!
ボキ clack

お　your father make fight to drew on purpose, to prevent dishonor Hguu school!
もち　of cause white fox know it.
白　It must pretty humiliation for him.

た　I was surely orderd to be an assasin.
だが　but,I..
闘　I decide by myself when I fight, when I die.

静か　the queit tiger was the great man like his physique
あの　from that day, I'd been yearning him..

す　great! Oton, you could eat by yourself!
あ　ah..
う　u..

高　the brave, proud man..
覇　the biggest rival of Haguu is..
う　yu..mmy
ヨチ　now like a baby that just started to walk!

 

[pocketmofo]

Here's a quick translation of the dialogue. Your translator certainly knows what he is reading, it's just phrasing it in English that seems to be the problem (as you mentioned in your post). I hope this helps a bit!

1. "Haguu school/style, Wind Stike!"

1. "...to be able to take the full brunt of the "wind strike" and not collapse/fall..."

2. "It certainly would have enough power to tear up a normal person's insides/stomach/internal organs. I even heard sounds that I've never even heard before coming from insides. But (ya know) the Nodashinkage style can create an "energy/air shield/membrane/coating" to reduce the shock."

1. "An 'energy shield?' So it exists in the Nodashinkage style as well?"

1. "I guess you're the son of the 'tiger' through and through."

2. "Why are you really here? For a hitman you sure don't have that killing spirit."

1. "I came to see/meet the "tiger" one more time."

3. "The Haguu school does not recognize Nodashinkage style that spawned the killer, Kiryuu as being a part of the same school/style as us. The Nodashinkage school's excommunication of Kiryuu does not undo our breaking off. If you still wish to make peace with us then you should stand against us in fair combat."

3. "Then here I come!"

4. "You win."

4. "It would seem that from just one of your (Shirogitsune-sama's) attacks I have broken a rib. If I were to continue fighting it might damage my internal organs."

3. "Hmmph...then there's no other choice. Then for today it will be a draw."

4. "Thank you."

1. "But I saw it clearly...at that moment...the quiet tiger grabbed Shirogitsune-sama's fist and changed the direction/trajectory of his attack toward his own ribcage hard enough to break one of his own ribs..."

1. "Your father, knowing that he could not allow the Haguu school to lose face, purposely aimed for a 'draw.'"

1. "Shirogitsune-sama of course realized that as well. For Shirogitsune-sama it was no doubt a shame that was hard to bear."

1. "It's true that I was ordered by Shirogitsune-sama to kill (you). However, when I fight and when I die will be decided by my own intent and will."

1. "The 'Quiet Tiger' was a master with skill as large as his frame."

1. "Ever since that day I continued to look up to him..."

5. "Good job, Dad! You were able to eat on your own!"

1. "Such a brave man of integrity...the man most feared by the Haguu school..."

6. "Yuuuu...yummy."

1. "...has come to resemble a child who has just learned to walk."

 

[NeoShweaty]

thank you very much