Poem Ramen's poem on himself.

[Ramen]

They say, why do you have an obsession with Ramen?
Why not? It's genuinely what get's me Poppin.

There are many ways to enjoy this delectable treat.
The creation of such food is no small feat.

Enjoy it in many ways, salty, savory, or spicy.
Let me warn you, it's only for those who consider them fiesty.

Can be eaten as breakfast, lunch, or possibly even dinner.
Though eating too much will not make you thinner.

It is something I love, and crave too much.
Whether it is soft or a delectable crunch.

Such deliciousness seems like an illegal crime.
For this food though, I'm willing to serve the time.

Finally, as I end this poem as I happily sing.
I will go enjoy this food....made for peasants and kings.


Now while it isn't that good, I thought of this in a span of 10 seconds and just started typing. @MarmaladeSky @Kiki

 

[Ramen]

@revo @Moegara All criticism is welcome

 

[Marmalade]

They say, why do you have an obsession with Ramen?
Why not? It's genuinely what get's me Poppin.

There are many ways to enjoy this delectable treat.
The creation of such food is no small feat.

Enjoy it in many ways, salty, savory, or spicy.
Let me warn you, it's only for those who consider them fiesty.

Can be eaten as breakfast, lunch, or possibly even dinner.
Though eating too much will not make you thinner.

It is something I love, and crave too much.
Whether it is soft or a delectable crunch.

Such deliciousness seems like an illegal crime.
For this food though, I'm willing to serve the time.

Finally, as I end this poem as I happily sing.
I will go enjoy this food....made for peasants and kings.


Now while it isn't that good, I thought of this in a span of 10 seconds and just started typing. @MarmaladeSky @Kiki

Love how you wrote something about ramen xD Very suitable!

 

[Kiki]

poem about food. this is very unique

 

[Nie Li]

@revo @Moegara All criticism is welcome

What level of criticism are you expecting?

 

[Ramen]

What level of criticism are you expecting?

I don't really mind anything. I'm a writer looking to get better.

I did this on the spot.

 

[Nie Li]

I don't really mind anything. I'm a writer looking to get better.

I did this on the spot.

Constructive criticism it is, then.

The poem itself is good. However, even if you did it on the spot in a couple of minutes, you should still proofread it as there are minor typos like "fiesty", two questionable punctuation signs or the sentence "Finally, as I end this poem as I happily sing".

Other than proofreading and the punctuation thing (I'm a bit of a grammar nazi even if I don't seem like one), I would only advise you to avoid this kind repetition: "delectable treat"/"delectable crunch".

 

[Ramen]

(I'm a bit of a grammar nazi even if I don't seem like one)

This definitely surprised me lol

 

[Nie Li]

This definitely surprised me lol

If these forum was on Spanish you'd see that more clearly! In English I have many silly mistakes for not thinking twice before writing that I only realize after making my posts. I, too, should proofread more often.

--- Double Post Merged, Oct 28, 2020, Original Post Date: Oct 28, 2020 ---

If these forum was on Spanish you'd see that more clearly! In English I have many silly mistakes for not thinking twice before writing that I only realize after making my posts. I, too, should proofread more often.

See? I just did it.