The Last Person to Post Wins - Qliphoth

[Farfalla]

So Hardy said "I found a subreddit about things women wish they knew before labor, here is it for you to read". Proceeded to read it and reached this:

Well shit, I made my own little swimming pool when my waters went. I was lay on a bed in the delivery suite because they were going to induce me, but my contractions started naturally so they kept me in anyway. I had a pethadine injection in my leg and was expecting the pain to ease off so I could get some sleep. About 10 minutes later I felt a POP in my stomach and then a rapid gushing that didn’t stop or even slow down. My partner thought I was joking when I told him my waters had burst. He ran to find a midwife who came and saw my waters were green, then gave me gas and air and ran to get me a wheelchair. As I was being wheeled away, I turned to see the destruction I had left behind and oh my damn! The bed was covered and dripping onto the floor, which was just completely soaked. I was still leaking a small river as I was sat in this wheelchair apologising to these two poor women who looked like they had no idea what to do with their mops.

Then I pooped whilst contracting and the midwife hid it so I wouldn’t get embarrassed, but I couldn’t have given a fuck if I tried.

After I’d had my son I was so sore but thought, ‘ok I’ve just pushed an entire small human from my body so this is normal.’

A new midwife came to examine me as they thought I had a ‘small tear’. A ‘quick’ check of the vagina, and I jumped for the gas and air cause holy fuck why did that hurt so much?! A ‘quick’ check of the anus, and HOLY HELL WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Was told I had to be taken to theatre to be stitched up. And then I was left for 45 minutes, during which time I had to pee, TWICE. THROUGH OPEN WOUNDS. Hell fire.

I fell asleep while they were fixing me and later found out that I had torn EVERYTHING. Front to back, side to side, outside and inside, including muscles.
Can I just say how terrifying pooping was for such a long time. I had laxatives that were more to soften the poop than anything, and I STILL BURST MY STITCHES EVERY TIME.

The moral of this story is DAMN CHILDBIRTH, YOU SCARY.

TLDR; flooded a delivery suite when my waters broke, tore all my junk up including booty hole and everything. Pooping hurt. Clitoris still functional tho! Self-five!

God defend your soul if I go thru something similar, Argie '-' and thx for the new dosis of fear and paranoia.

 

[Charlie]

So Hardy said "I found a subreddit about things women wish they knew before labor, here is it for you to read". Proceeded to read it and reached this:

God defend your soul if I go thru something similar, Argie '-' and thx for the new dosis of fear and paranoia.

Hope yours goes well Mariana. But yes, I have heard similar stories from women.
Its one of the blessings God gives you for being a mom I guess. Also the reason we know why God is a male with the same token.

 

[Farfalla]

 

[liductan]

So Hardy said "I found a subreddit about things women wish they knew before labor, here is it for you to read". Proceeded to read it and reached this:

God defend your soul if I go thru something similar, Argie '-' and thx for the new dosis of fear and paranoia.

LoL.

I said before, you can have anything while you're pregnant. Out of nowhere..

 

[Charlie]

LoL.

I said before, you can have anything while you're pregnant. Out of nowhere..

You should be sleep.

Well them joys of birth - I g u e s s!

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 23, 2018, Original Post Date: Sep 23, 2018 ---

Bed time for me folks -
Goo - night - peeps!

 

[Copy Panda]

that was deep, raven

 

[liductan]

You should be sleep.

Well them joys of birth - I g u e s s!

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 23, 2018, Original Post Date: Sep 23, 2018 ---

Bed time for me folks -
Goo - night - peeps!

I work 2 shift..big head.
Did you forget that too?

 

[Charlie]

I work 2 shift..big head.
Did you forget that too?

Ofc - well, yeah... you know my memory is no good.

that was deep, raven

T h a t d e e p is good!
(het is erg goed)

 

[GrySun]

Damn - well I guess 3/4 isn't so bad?

I'm glad mine went more like this!

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 22, 2018, Original Post Date: Sep 22, 2018 ---

Daijobu desu ka?

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 23, 2018 ---

So Hardy said "I found a subreddit about things women wish they knew before labor, here is it for you to read". Proceeded to read it and reached this:

God defend your soul if I go thru something similar, Argie '-' and thx for the new dosis of fear and paranoia.

Uh

Maybe good to do some of those helping cuts?

 

[Shobu_Yoruichi]

Finally... spring came no more cold days... until mid november.

 

[Organizized]

As someone who only read Kenshin in manga form, I must say that anime has some fantastic OP's.

 

[liductan]

Such a shame you didn't know that before.
The prequel has some of the best...Ost.

 

[Farfalla]

Uh

Maybe good to do some of those helping cuts?

Nobody is cutting me down there @.@

 

[Xadyu]

 

[GrySun]

Nobody is cutting me down there @.@

Idk, read it‘s easier/better like that for some But can very much understand wanting to avoid a knife, wouldn‘t want any of that myself.

 

[Xadyu]

That too, yes.

Nobody is cutting me down there @.@

I heard that when we were staying in the hospital, they wanted to cut the woman in the neighboring room open, but before they had the chance she ruptured from vagina to asshole on her own.

Idk, read it‘s easier/better like that for some But can very much understand wanting to avoid a knife, wouldn‘t want any of that myself.

They use scissors for that.

 

[GrySun]

That too, yes.


I heard that when we were staying in the hospital, they wanted to cut the woman in the neighboring room open, but before they had the chance she ruptured from vagina to asshole on her own.


They use scissors for that.

Then that

 

[Farfalla]

Idk, read it‘s easier/better like that for some But can very much understand wanting to avoid a knife, wouldn‘t want any of that myself.

I heard that when we were staying in the hospital, they wanted to cut the woman in the neighboring room open, but before they had the chance she ruptured from vagina to asshole on her own.

Yeah yeah, I'm aware some doctors claim that's necessary, but I'm just simply afraid of ending up with a deformed genitalia. You gotta stitch it back so I doubt it would end up as the same as it was before... I don't want a blown up butt either lol, so if it doesn't expand enough for the baby to pass, I'll go straight for the c-section. That's something that won't be up for debate xD I'll get Hardy to speak for me if I'm knocked out or something lol.

 

[Purity of Magi]

Yeah yeah, I'm aware some doctors claim that's necessary, but I'm just simply afraid of ending up with a deformed genitalia. You gotta stitch it back so I doubt it would end up as the same as it was before... I don't want a blown up butt either lol, so if it doesn't expand enough for the baby to pass, I'll go straight for the c-section. That's something that won't be up for debate xD I'll get Hardy to speak for me if I'm knocked out or something lol.

Want me to tell you more ''enjoyable'' stuffs about this that I know and heard from people that were pregnant? I am certain that you will definitely enjoy reading those. :3

 

[Farfalla]

*deletes a certain file*